The sentence "You're so predictable!" has such a negative connotation surprisingly. What better than to have someone that you can truly claim to know, that you can predict how he/she is gonna react. Isn't predictability an essential condition to dependability? Favorable predictability leads to dependability.
I seem to use the word "trust" very loosely to mean dependability. But, thats what it is ... I trust people that don't need to explain their actions or thoughts to me and vice versa. Close friends form a trust circle, and its the transitivity, associativity and reflectivity of this relation that provides securities in a social life.
So, how does this "trust" build up? Personally, everyone starts off with a default "trust" value, based upon first impressions. There on, its circumstances and how people react to those, that determine wether it grows or declines. The growth can be modeled as an exponential process where the initial rate is faster and it declines thereafter. In simpler words, its harder to rebuild "trust" after deep initial blows. Does this rule apply symmetrical to both "trust" and "mistrust". Somewhat, in that you would give some benefit of trust to someone who has earned it, rather than letting it fall briskly. Though, generally building trust is harder than losing it.
As a craby cancerian, I have close relationship insecurities. The first blow to trust can really shake things up, unless its mended quickly. There are others, who just so simply fit in that its hard to imagine evaluating them on trust. They simply stay on, till the anger subsides and things needn't be explained. Apologies are optional, either explicit or implicit if at all.
Which brings us to the more important question of all, how dependable are you? Thats something to ponder upon, isn't it :D
- Amar (23rd Nov 2006)
ps: Wrote this when i stepped back rather rudely from potential friendship ... would prefer her understanding this, rather than me being right!
Update: Yeaahhh, I was rite [:D]
